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Stupid Joe Francis Gets Sherriff Deputy in Trouble

Along with Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin as scum of the earth celebrities is one semi-celebrity named Joe Francis, the creator of the “Girls Gone Wild” series. Don’t get us wrong, we don’t hate the guy for being rich or creating “Girls Gone Wild”, we just think he’s a sleaze ball who doesn’t pay taxes, is constantly under scrutiny for potentially videotaping underage girls and thinking his money can buy his freedom from tax evasion jail.

Now he got a former Nevada sheriff’s deputy in trouble. Seargeant Michon Mills is going to trial on charges that she accepted gifts in exchange for giving moron Joe preferential jail treatment.

An associate of dirty Joe has already pleaded guilty admitting he bought Michon a Cartier watch and a $5000 Saks Fifth Avenue gift card even though Michon, the deputy never considered them a bribe and gave the gifts back.

In any event Joe’s peeps gave cash and gifts to other sheriff deputies. Joe, of course, was treated nicely, had magazines brought to him and had really nice phone privileges. Even inmates complained about his loud phone manners. Now that’s sleazy trailer trash Joe. Hope you get sent back.

Hailey Glassman Cozies Up to Michael Lohan

It kind of makes us want to puke, although a little already came up on our throat. However, we can’t say we’re surprised at the fact that fame ho Hailey Glassman got together with fame ho Michael Lohan and the two of them were spotted being very cozy at a party. Gawd, this is gross.

Those two deserve each other. In fact all those people like Michael Lohan, Joe Gosselin, Kate Gosselin and the rest of that trashy bunch of semi celebrities deserve each other. Someone please put them on a boat and ship them off to some garbage island somewhere near Antarctica. And please, please do it fast. These fifteen minutes of fame are really dragging! Did the watch stop or something?

Steven Tyler Will Sue if He’s Replaced

 

Poor Steven Tyler. He’s getting old. And what, with all those years of drug use and all, combined with old age, sure is making for an interesting time in Steven’s old age. We reported of Steven’s recent wackiness when he was at a Home Depot and decided to serenade the customers with an impromptu acapella concert of two Aerosmith hit songs. Well now Steven is throwing a hissy fit and threatening to sue his band if they replace him.

It all started with Steven not wanting to perform at concerts because of claims he was ill. So eventually his band mates decided to move on without him and began speaking with Lenny Kravitz, Billy Idol and others. But not so fast boys. Steven’s attorney sent a letter to the band demanding they, “immetiately cease and desist from engaging in acts and conduct to the harm and detriment of your own client, Aerosmith, and our client who is one of its members.”

The letter also said, “Steven Tyler does not want lawsuits. We do not want to go in that direction. The direction we want is Aerosmith, with Steven Tyler, touring in Europe, touring Latin America, releasing a new album… This is the direction it’s all intended to go. It’s just amazing to me current management would be taking any other position.”

So the band is supposed to wait until Steven gets better? Who’s going to give them money in the meantime? And anyway, what a way to create tension in a band huh?

Rip Torn Arrested on Bank Robbery Charges

What the hell is wrong with Rip Torn? The dude was arrested after he was found inside a bank in Connecticut drunk and with a loaded gun. Frikkin celebrities man! Are most of them just so whacked?

Mark E. Macomber is Litchfield Bancorp’s president and chief executive officer. He told police that fortunately the only damage done was a broken window, which is where Rip came in through the bank. And that no one was I the bank when he broke in. What about the frikkin door Rip? Jeez!

When the cops arrived they found Rip laying on the floor confused. Apparently Rip thought he was in his own home.

Man, why do people chose the limelight. It seems to make 99% just whacked out fools on crack.

John Edwards Sex Tape Not Being Sold…So Far

Looks like the guy we almost voted as President of the United States of America just dodged another bullet. The alleged sex tape his ex-assistant swears on his life he has is not leaving his hands…yet. And we say yet because either a court order ot lots of cash will probably force Andre Young, the former right hand man to Senator Edwards hand over the raunch DVD.

Andrew, however, swears he is being offered “gigantic amounts of money” for the sex tape starring Edwards and his baby mama mistress Rielle Hunter. And we know that this tape exists because Andre went on 20/20 to fess up he had it and Rielle filed a court order to demand return a 2006 video “of a very private and personal nature” that she claims is hers.

And to think, this guy Edwards was running for President. Imagine if he won and all this came out. What a lying piece of animal feces! He lied to all of us to get up there.

Who Are the Worst Actors of 2009 and the Decade?

Some people make the best list. Some people make the worst. We’re proud to present to you the actors who made the 2009 worst list.

We’ll start by telling you that Megan Fox and Miley Cirus are in a serious dead heat competition for worst actress of the year with the crowning glory of achievement being called “The Razzie”. Megan for “Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers” and Miley for “Hannah Montana, the Movie”.

Creeping up behind them are Beyonce for “Obsessed” (yeah, we agree with that, she sucked); Sarah Jessica Parker for “Did You Hear About the Morgans” (it’s kind of hard acting like you’re thirty when you look sixty-seven); and , hold on folks, Sandra Bullock for “All About Steve” (but remember that Sandra is nominated for an Oscar for “The Blind Side”).

Worst actor contenders include: all the three Jonas Brothers for “The 3-D Concert Experience”; Will Ferrell for “Land of the Lost); Steve Martin for “Pink Panther 2; Eddie Murphy for “Imagine That” and John Travolta for “Old Dogs”.

Worst Actor of the Decade nominees include Ben Affleck (he’s won two Razzies in his career); Eddie Murphy (he’s won two Razzies as well); Mike Myers (who’s also won two Razzies already); and Rob Schneider (who’s won one Razzie in his career), and John Travolta.

The Worst Actress of the Decade nominees include Mariah Carey; Paris Hilton (who’s won four Razzies); Lindsay Lohan (who’s won three Razzies but her mom thinks she’s a genius anyway); Jennifer Lopez, (who’s won two Razzies and Madonna, (who’s won four Razzies).
That ought to show you you ain’t that good celebs!

Immature Kourtney Kardashian PO’d at Her Non Baby Mama Sisters

In a recent episode of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” a fight among the Kardashian sisters erupted. And the cause of it, baby sister Kourtney. Well, actually she’s the oldest, but she’s the least mature of the bunch.

Although we all know Kourtney gave birth to a baby boy already, on that particular episode Kourtney is eight months pregnant. The three sisters decide to go away to Santa Barbara before Kourtney becomes a mom, but their fun filled plans were squashed by doctor’s orders. Kourtney was not allowed to go horse back riding. Duh! And when Kim and Khloe went without her, baby Kourtney began to pout like the fourth grader she is. “C’mon, I’m like sitting here by myself,” Kourtney pouted on the phone. Yeah, she’s thirty something, but she “like” talks like a teenager.

Kourtney also got annoyed at the fact that Kim and Khloe were enjoying some wine. “There’s nothing more annoying to me while I’m pregnant than the smell of alcohol and drunk people,” a jealous baby Kourtney said.
Kourtney winded up wanting to cut the trip short because, in her words, her sisters, “So far they’ve done nothing but annoy me. And I’m just over Kim and Khloe’s B.S.” Bu even though on the ride back Kourtney apologized for her idiotic behavior it still doesn’t change our opinion that she talks and act like a baby. Are we “like” wrong?

Simon Monjack Wants to Sue Warner Brothers For Brittany Murphy’s Death

Simon Monjack is starting to look like a desperate idiot. And he’s sounding incoherent as well.

Now Simon is claiming he wants to sue Warner Brothers because they’re the cause of his wife Brittany Murphy’s death. Umm, hello? Earth to Simon. The coroner will determine the cause, and it surely wasn’t Warner Brothers. According to Simon, two weeks prior to Brittany’s death, Warner Brothers fired her from the sequel to the animated movie “Happy Feet”. Simon says of that firing, “She was devastated. They killed her.”
Of course Warner Brothers immediately shot back in statement against Simon’s ridiculous logic. The studio wrote, “Any claim that Warner Bros. Pictures was somehow responsible for Brittany Murphy’s tragic death is demonstrably false, reprehensible and defamatory. Warner Bros. Pictures and Ms. Murphy never entered into any deal for Happy Feet 2, and thus, there was no contract to cancel.”

You hear that Simon? She never had a contract. And you hear something else? The word “defamatory” is a veiled threat that they plan to sue your stupid ass if you keep accusing them of killing her. Keep your mouth shut. We all felt bad for you when Brittany died, but many of her friends hated you and now we’re starting to see why.

Oprah Gay Secrets Exposed

Someone is going to be publishing a book about Oprah Winfrey that is supposed to explain a lot about her gay surroundings including gay relationships Stedman Graham has had and lesbian relationships Oprah has had with Gayle King. And the person publishing it none other than Oprah Herself.

According to the National Enquirer, this tell-all-book will reveal all these “secrets”. And along with all those juicly love revelations she also talks about how she’s spent over $5 million trying to keep her weight down.
A source says that, “Oprah has long shrugged off the persistent story that she and Gayle are lovers, and that Stedman was just a cover for their secret relationship.” And apparently Oprah is releasing her own version to sink Kitty Kelley’s unauthorized biography called Oprah: A Biography.

We guess Oprah figures if someone is going to out her, it might as well be her so she can make money of the outing huh? Sounds like a wise business decision to us.

Gary Coleman Bailed Out By a Fan

Attention kids. If you too want to be a child star please follow the career of Gary Coleman and the two other actors who played his brother and sister on the hit series “Different Strokes” and also about the career of many other child stars. If that doesn’t scare you into choosing another career, then read on about the ex-millionaire star who is broker than broke, like many child stars we might add.

So Gary Coleman had been arrested for alleged spousal abuse recently and he was sitting in jail. Unfortunately he didn’t; have the cash to get out and, as you know, in Hollywood, once your cash runs out so do your friends. So how did Gary Coleman post his bail? A fan came to the rescue. Sad. Nice fan though, byt unfortunate circumstances for the ex-star.

Jarrod Clarke is the Utah businessman who forked up $1,725 for the bail and even offered to give Gary a ride home. Clarke says of Gary, “If you see his mugshot, I mean, what a sad face… To see that he was sitting in there – and he’s been there for 27 hours – and bail was only $1,700, I thought somebody probably ought to do something.”