Heidi Montag’s Doctor Says ‘No’ to More Plastic Surgeries

The plastic surgeon dude that recently performed ten surgical procedures on Heidi Montag is speaking out. After doing the surgeries that included breast implants, brow lifts, fat injections, and cause the entertainment community to refer to Heidi as Frankenheidie, Dr. Frank Ryan now says he wouldn’t perform anymore surgery on his plastic patient.

“There’s really nothing to do!” the limelight seeking so called doctor told Us Magazine at a recent pre-Oscar party. “I told Heidi that, ‘What are you going to do? You’re done!”. Yeah, but that’s not what she thinks. She still thinks her triple D boobs are small.

Doctor Frank also told the magazine that some of her peers are asking him for similar requests. “In the reality [TV] world, there’s a lot of competition and there’s a lot of possessiveness for one’s doctor,” Doctor Frank said. “It’s pretty interesting.”

Enjoy the limelight while you can you so called doctor that puts fame and interviews ahead of real medical concerns like making some dumb blonde too plasticky. She’s probably going to look like crap in ten years.

FrankenHeidi Admits the Obvious, Surgeries Hurt

We love writing about how dumb Heidi Montag is. She just makes our day with her wit and brains. Heidi recently was reflecting on her much talked about ten plastic surgeries and explained how she didn’t realize they would hurt. Ha, ha.

“The worst pain was actually my ears. I didn’t know that was the most painful process and feature”, the genius said. But did Heidi learn her lesson that the world is making fun of her appearance and the painful process? Nope. She wants to go back for more. And this time to increase her plastic boobs to even bigger! “I didn’t get them as big as I originally wanted”, says melon t**s.

Something tells us we’ll be hearing a lot more about this soon.

Friend Says Heidi Montag Could Use Some Money

What? Heidi Montag in need of money? What is this world coming to? Well, according to a friend of Heidi, Heidi could use some money. So what’s Heidi going to do to get it? Well get naked and show off her brand new plastic body for Playboy…again. Yes, again!

But how real will these pictures be if they’re going to be retouched, airbrushed and photo shopped up the yin yang. Apparently Heidi has been offered $500,000 to show off her triple D plastic boobs. But remember kids, Heidi has said she’s looking to get them done bigger one of these days.

Her friend says, “Heidi loves her new body, but she’s especially happy about her breast implants. She could use the money, and she’s finally ready to pose topless, so she is negotiating with the magazine”.
Of course she could use the money. Increasing her boobs to triple H isn’t going to be cheap.

Heidi Montag Getting Hate Mail Due to Ridiculous Plastic Surgery

Celebrities aren’t the only ones that think Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery, er, we mean surgeries, are ridiculous, fans do too. And they’ve been showing their distaste by sending Heidi hate and complaint mail.
Apparently receiving all that mail depressed Heidi enough that the other attention dumbass, her husband Spencer Pratt, is trying to cheer her up. although, we do have to admit, we do feel bad for the guy having to deal with a Frankenheidi monster as a wife nowadays.

A source close to the couple tells the media, “Spencer ordered about seven bunches of flowers to cheer up Heidi because she’d received a letter or an e-mail saying that he plastic surgery was against God’s will. Heidi’s apparently very spiritual, so this kind of criticism really stings.”

That source also tells us how Spencer feels: “She looks like Cat Lady. It’s all a little too much. Spencer loved how Heidi looked before this surgery. Because she’s still swollen and the surgery hasn’t settled yet, he’s a bit shocked.”

We’re shocked too Spencer! But please post pictures of her. We don’t have any!

Frankenheidi’s Mom To Get Heidi Type Plastic Surgery

The Heidi monster has managed to convince her mom to be Momma Monster. It looks like Heidi Montag’s mom is following in her daughter’s footsteps (oh yeah, this seems like a wise decision already) and get a bunch of crazy plastic surgery herself. Maybe, now that her daughter Heidi looks so odd, she wants to look just as odd as her so that they can still look like a mother and daughter team?

At first Frankenheidi lied to the media by saying she was scared to face her mom after all that silicone was added to her body without her mom knowing. There were even reports that Darlene Egelhoff (Heidi’s mom and genius at large) was having a nervous breakdown as a result. So how did the story turn around? Frankenheidi now claims that her mom is excited for her. “Actually, she was excited for me and she’s asking me … for her surgery next. So for Mother’s Day, I have to ask [surgeon] Dr. Frank Ryan if he’ll do the mommy makeover” says Frankenheidi through silicone lips.

We suggest mom and daughter brain surgeries as well. Maybe they can turn on the common sense part of the brain that seems to be lacking in this family.

Heidi Montag Sets World Record For Low CD Sales

Heidi Montag sinks to an all time low. Her CD sales hit the ground faster than a rock in a bathtub.

Heidi’s debut CD album titled “Superficial” sold less than one thousand copies. And in terms of downloads, she’s only had about seven hundred of them so far. But the genius that she is, she explained to Entertainment Weekly recently that “I put every dollar I have into this. I’ve spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It’s cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality… The songs will make an impact in pop history”. And she also figured that “within the first week, we will definitely make our money back.”

Looks like you’re going to “accidentally leak” a sex tape to break even Heidi. What a dummy.

Heidi Montag Is Scared to Face Her Mom After Getting 10 Plastic Surgeries

Heidi Montag underwent ten plastic surgery procedures in one day and she did so without her friends or even family knowing about it.

But now, Heidi admits that facing her mother, Darlene Egelhoff, is going to be dreadful. Heidi reports that her mom’s reaction was dreadful. Heidi is so nervous, she said, “I still can’t believe I’m 23 and mom is reacting this way. I’m nervous to go home and face her – especially with cameras rolling.”

And she probably should be nervous. A family friend revealed that Heidi’s mom “is horrified and having a total breakdown. She can’t wait to confront Heidi when she goes home.”
Well get used to people being horrified Heidi. You’re twenty three and you’re already starting to look like a freak. This is the first time we actually feel sorry for the loser husband of hers, Spencer Pratt. Better start filing those divorce papers Spencer because with ten surgeries in one day at her age, she’s not going to stop getting more

Dr. Drew Slams Heidi Montag’s 10 Surgeries

We’re adding Dr. Drew to the long, long list of people who are criticizing Heidi Montag’s ridiculous decision to have ten plastic surgery procedures all at one time while she’s only twenty three years old. The good doctor thinks Heidi’s decisions have some deep rooted self worth issues.

In an interview Dr Drew said, “But what I call this is female cross dressing. In other words a woman that over accentuates her femaleness – who becomes a Barbie doll – that always really concerns me. That suggests some significant trauma. And rather than treating that, making her go through all this…I’m glad she’s satisfied with it – God bless her – I’m glad she’s happy but this is not going to be the end of it.”

And as for her future, Dr. Drew adds a theory which we’re all thinking about anyway. “I think the first you are going to see is the destabilization of the relationship between her and Spencer – that’s the first thing you’re going to see – that relationship is going to unwind. I don’t know how so, how it plays out, it’s always different, but usually when this kind of thing goes on the primary relationship unwinds. And then we will see what comes next” said Dr. Drew

Yikes.

Heidi Montag’s Surgeon Calls Her A Liar

“Access Hollywood” Interviewed Dr. Frank Ryan, who was Heidi Montag’s surgeon and he says all her “near death” talk she claims happened during her surgeries did not happen. Genius Heidi claims she almost died from her surgeries and that she was down to five breaths per minute which, according to Dr. Heidi, is “like dead”. Man, this woman is stupid. Five breaths a minute can be reached by anyone who just relaxes deeply. She’s so, so dumb.

Dr. Ryan said all of this “didn’t happen as far as I know.”. The doctor also said that Heidi actually had thirty procedures instead of ten. “I really call it 30 surgeries because if we’re gonna count Botox injections we should count every single injection, and both breasts, not just you know so it’s two surgeries. Why say 10 surgeries? It sells magazines.”

But saying thirty would have probably made more headlines don’t you think?

Heidi Montag Wants H Cup Bra Size

The FrankenHeidi circus just keeps going and going.

Heidi Montag now makes another ridiculous statement, and the sad, yet funny thing is that she’s serious. Even though Frankenheidi just had her boobs enlarged to a triple D cup, Heidi says, “I like the F. I actually want H for Heidi.”

That’s what happens when your bra cup size is bigger than your brain ladies.

Heidi explains that one of the reasons she got plastic was because as a kid her there was a situation with her looks. “It always kinda held be back from a certain inner light and an inner happiness.” Okay genius isn’t an inner light and inner happiness supposed to radiate from the inside? How does injecting plastic all over the place accomplish that? You’re still going to be insecure dummy.

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